I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Pants are for mortals
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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