My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
