He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
