my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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