i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
