Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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