I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
