My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
