on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
