i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Randomize
