I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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