sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
