There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
