it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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