he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
