I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I think I sprained my soul last night
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize