Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Success! We fucked roommates!
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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