It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize