My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize