a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
