HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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