You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
