you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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