So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
