Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
