Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Randomize
