the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
