Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
