gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
