you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
