I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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