Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
