Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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