he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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