So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
