Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
