also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Randomize
