I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I have feelings that need drinking.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
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