She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize