New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
