are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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