fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
