Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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