Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
