While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
