i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Randomize
