I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
