I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You were trust falling into bushes
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
