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• (602): View more from Arizona

  Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you

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• (276): View more from Virginia

  So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??

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