good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
