Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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