I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
