easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
