How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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