I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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