I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Randomize
