Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I just found a bag of teeth...
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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