And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
