Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
ttyl tear gas
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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