how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
