Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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