Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
She told me I should be a condom model.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
